The Pocket Knife Incident

How do you raise a boy in this overprotective and overly-cautious society? I often feel like I am doing a poor job. My sons were gifted pocket knives for Christmas. They are 12 and 9. They were appropriate gifts, but in the back of my mind, I had thoughts of "What if they accidently take it to school?" or "What if they accidently cut themselves, someone else, or something?" They're boys! They should do boy stuff. They should be carving wood and sharpening twigs.

And then it happens: A knife is accidently taken to school. The good thing is that my son took it immediately to the teacher. He wasn't suspended. So I become more cautious about the whereabouts of the knives, but when he asks a week later if he can open up a box of Capri Suns, I don't think to check on how he will open it. I just assume that he'll use his hands, like most humans, and rip the box open. Instead, I walk into the kitchen to see a wounded/stabbed juice pouch on the floor lying in a puddle of its own fluids. As I put the rest of the pouches away, I realize that 5 more tragedies have occurred...and I cannot find the pocket knife. I guess I WASN'T watching so closely. Oops!

So do I take the knives away? No. My boys have every right to learn how to use them properly as well as learn when it is appropriate to use them. I take comfort in the fact that we did talk to them when they got the knives about what to do if they accidently took them to school. We discussed with them what was appropriate/inappropriate: EX. using the pen to write, EX. not knife fighting (because I HAVE seen them do that when they were younger when "someone" thought that they were ready for BIG pocket knives....WRONG!)

I found the knife in the afternoon after the Capri Sun Massacre atop one of the other boxes. He told me that he put it down so he wouldn't forget to leave it at home. I realize now that I have been a good parent. We have thought ahead about the possibilities and have made our kids aware of what could happen and what they should do. I certainly counted my blessings on that pocket-knife-afternoon when I picked my son up from school.

So what lessons do I teach my sons about airguns, garden lizards, inappropriate web searching, basic daily hygiene, motivation to do well at school, proper eating habits, foul language, exercise, too much tv?...the list is infinite. The best parents are always thinking ahead so they are never caught off guard. I know that I've been caught off guard a few times and I feel like a terrible mother, but maybe that makes me a good mom because I beat myself up for my parental mistakes and look for ways to keep incidents (such as the renegade pocket-knife-incident) from occuring again.