Abandoned!

Yesterday: I remembered where my hidden box of truffles was, I got the kids to school on time, work wasn't too bad, Rylan went down for a nap without complaining, I squeezed in 6 miles on the tread, I successfully contacted 2 parents about their child's poor grades, I forgot to pick up my son at school....WHAT?!!! That doesn't fit! So, um, yeah, I forgot to pick him up....well, I didn't forget to, I was just 10 minutes late. It was obviously enough time for him to believe that I had abandoned him. I do feel terrible. I looked up at the microwave clock and realized that I was late. I grabbed Rylan and left the house without shoes and sweaty from my run. We drove up to the office and he came running out with tears in his eyes. He sadly mumbled, "You forgot about me." I started to cry and I had to pull the car over to give him a hug. Although he is in 4th grade, he is so small and helpless when it comes to emotional incidents like this. Am I the worst mom ever? I believe so. At least for yesterday. We got home and then he told me that he forgave me. Not that it made me feel any better, but I knew that he had recovered. That is when I started thinking about just how embarrassed I was. Not to him, but to the office staff at the school. I don't have a very good record with the office staff. Jerrod says it's no big deal, but I've gotten caught trying to smuggle my lil guy into the classroom to volunteer in Cayden's room. I knew that I wasn't allowed to, but tried to anyway. I upset the secretary when I came storming in after picking Cayden up as he was having an asthma attack. I wanted answers, but instead made a personal attack. That whole day is still a blur and I am still not so happy with the outcome, but I have learned to better prepare my son so he can take care of himself when others can't. It just seems that every time I enter that office, I "break the law". I don't intend to, but I do. Again, Jerrod says it's all in my mind, but I've worked in a public school and I know THE TRUTH!
But back to the issue at hand. I know that my son's feelings are important. I should make a better effort to be prompt so he will know that he is loved and cared for. I will be there on time today. I will not dwell on what I think the office staff thinks of me because, in the end, it's unimportant. So I am crazy...I already know that. There really is no use in trying to hide that fact. Good moms make mistakes....or in my case bad moms make bad mistakes.

Rennovation

3 days: 3 months:3 years: It's all the same in this house, as I am sure in many other homes. Remodeling is messy. It is stressful. It is full of anticipation and hopes of greatest desires fulfilled. It started with the cute, little, yellow Swiss-chalet house that was PERFECT. Eventually, it became, not so perfect. Mold in the walls, a slab leak in the kitchen, a crack in the shower.....Room by room we went, replacing walls and floors, carpet and cabinets. We are finally down to the last living space (unless you consider the bathroom a comfy place to spend time). Every one of our remodels started as a 3-day/week project. Many of our projects still remain unfinished. It is a way of life here in this household. Unfinished...but I'm okay with that. My home will never look like Martha Stewart's. I'll never be asked to have my home photographed for Better Homes and Gardens. I do though, take great pride in the fact that Jerrod and I have designed every remodel on our own and we have been pleased. I look forward to what will come of our living space. I look forward to the day when I can look from my living room sliding doors into my backyard and enjoy something other than dirt. We have great plans for this home. Besides, the kids get a kick out of seeing all of the destruction and chaos.

More Discipline

I had a terrorizing thought this morning as I sat at my desk at work e-mailing my dad on my phone during a break. I haven't taken my job seriously in a long time (3 years +) and have just done what I needed to do to keep my position. On occasion, I would go beyond my "call of duty" and tutor during lunch (which required me to stay beyond my paid hours) or have fun activities for the students. Now, it's just a job where efficiency is the bottom line.

My thought was so scary because last evening Jerrod and I had a long discussion with Bryson about school work. It isn't that he's failing or that he is even causing trouble. We have noticed that his priorities are not in the correct order and his grades are beginning to show it. Certainly a "B" on a report card would be considered above average for most, but when you know your son could do so much better if he just put a little more effort in, a "B" doesn't look so good....And with missing assignments in tow....GOOD GRIEF!

So comes the time when a spanking or time out will not do the trick. He is 12 years old. A little adult. He thinks like us. He rationalizes like us. He is even scarcastic like us. Stubborn, moody, easily influenced by his peers.... IT has become a preteen monster. How do you tame the monster? You can't. You have to teach IT to be respectful of the rules of the house and to the parents that provide a loving home for IT. Jerrod and I see our not-so-little-guy gaining his independence and stretching out his wings. We want to give him space and we want him to experience being a boy, but we also want to make sure that he has the proper skills to be successful in school and college (if he goes) without us yelling and screaming at him to do his homework.

So today marks the beginning of a fresh start for parents and son. Son will be respectful of parents requests because they are not just mindless requests to make life unbearable. Parents will show thoughtfulness in rewarding son with honest-positive-feedback and some freedoms, if deserved. It's called RESPECT. It's called love. It's called good parenting. It's a new committment to consistency.

So, I go back to where I was in my classroom....I can't be the teacher I am now. If I want my son to change, I need to also. I need to be a good role model for him. I need to put full effort into my work, just as I have asked of him. We will both be greatly rewarded. He will come home at the end of the quarter knowing that every time he cracked open a book to study, he made his parents proud. I will be rewarded with....uh,...not having to work next year. Yeah, but that's another lesson for another day.