100% + 100% = 100%

I know that you're thinking, Elaine is a math teacher and she put this equation up on her blog. It doesn't appear to be correct, but I'm going to read the blog because maybe it will make sense, in a wierd way. She has that knack for making sense of wierd things.

There isn't much in America that makes sense. Our language system and our metric system are all out of whack. See here, I just wrote 3 sentences with the words "knack" and "whack" and you are still following....because I made it make sense!

I'll set up the whole situation: I was having dinner with 2 friends from high school recently and one of the ladies posed a question to us other two that was something along the lines of "How do you make your marriage work?" or "How do you live with someone that long?" I can't remember the exact question, but this equation came to mind immediately. It's something that Jerrod and I have been working on for a couple of years ever since the failure rate of (50% + 50% = 100%) began to skyrocket.

The explanation: We began with divvying up responsibilities in the household. One takes out the trash and cleans the dishes, the other does the laundry and puts the kids to bed.... What happened was that when one of us was unable to complete his/her task, there would be dissappointment and then (mostly in my case) it would come down to grudge-holding, especially if I had to pick up the slack. For some couples, I am sure that this equation works out perfectly. For us....it just led to disasterous effects. Add some kids into the mix and the equation gets complicated. I don't even have an equation to explain, but I think I would most likely symbolize our boys as exponents or as repeating decimals or fractions (I hate those things in math! They make solving equations so difficult).

So, now we try our best to do what we can and count picking-up-slack as part of our chores. We will always have unknown variables. Soccer practice may go long. Jerrod may have a later night at the office. I may NEED to get away from these kids for the evening (and usually Jerrod can pick up on my signals quicker than I can and has to kick me out and tell me not to come home until the boys are asleep....it's his way of showing me he cares). The 100% equation is not fool-proof, but it has helped us to maintain a more peaceful and less-frustrated atmosphere. Our communication skills are getting better because we are learning to ask each other for help instead of expecting it. It really just is the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated. I really don't want to be verbally slapped in the face because my day was long and I didn't have time to cook vegetables for dinner. Why would I do that to Jerrod? PMS, maybe...but there is no excuse for that type of behavior. It's much easier to just go to the pantry and open up a can of green beans. It also appears to be "helping" instead of "OMG, I can't believe that she forgot the vegetables again!"

Budget Craziness

It won't be long until I say "farewell" to my tiny income, dressing up/showering, and driving to work. I soon will embrace full-time motherhood. I've been a mother all along, but this will be different. It will consume my life and there will be no place to hide. At work I always had my desk and a nice 15 minute break. My days will be filled with laundry, dusting, and deep cleaning (all the fun stuff that was neglected when I worked a very full 13 hour work week). I will brush up on my cooking skills and prepare a nutritional dinner that consists mostly of non-bagged, non-frozen chunks of meat in uncanned sauce. I know that I'll be an awful "housewife" because I don't like to do any of that stuff. NO MOTIVATION!...but I'm a better fit for "soccer mom"/"mom-in-a-mini-van". I have to say that I look a lot better in my floral apron than hubby anyday too.

I can take care of my kids, but with the budget talks making their way to the dinner table far more frequently, I think I may lose my most dependent babysitter. Premium tv channels are on their way out. I stopped going to get my car hand washed last year and I am slowly making my way to Smart & Final more than Ralphs (sadly,they DON'T have the light-up freezer section. I will miss that). I actually yell at my kids now when I can't find the scissors to clip my coupons. I've even borrowed a stock pot from a friend to make a triple batch of split pea soup so I could freeze some for future meals (very light on the wallet). It is a lot of work to save money. It's been a few months since the last financial pie graph chat, but I am sure that it will break my heart once again.....it's for the family!

So with all of that said, here are a few crazy things that I thought a budget-friendly person might say to make "it" hurt less:

*It really was between the Mercedes and the Honda Fit, but I went with the Honda 'cuz it really is more economical.
*Nah, I'd rather wash my own car. I enjoy spending hours scraping the bird-do and dead bugs off of the grill. I also get to keep all the change that I find under the mats. BONUS!
*I'm practicing my organization and alphabetizing skills with my new accordian folder. Clipping coupons has really improved my cutting skills too.
*Yeah, really, the generic brand tastes just as good as the real thing!
*The kids really do LOVE Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese....for lunch everyday.
*I know that there are holes in my underwear/socks, but they are just sooo comfortable.
*I'm on a diet. I'll just eat the (free) chips and salsa/bread and butter with a glass of water and a lemon slice.
*Um, we save the ketchup packets and hot sauce for the kids school lunches. Less mess.
*What a deal! Those $.50 greeting cards. No one really cares about the card anyways.
*I HATE Walmart...but they are the only store that sells Low-Sugar Frosted Flakes...
*When the restaurant gives you 2 corn tortillas for each taco, it's like a 2-for-1, but they don't even know that they're doing it. (Like stealing candy from a baby!!...and ignorance IS bliss!)
*I just couldn't put the book down. I finished it overnight because it was so good....and I needed to return it to Barnes and Noble so someone else could enjoy it.
*We really enjoy sharing cooties and because we are in LOVE, we can sip from the same cup at any restaurant.

Embrace the budget!

Lucky 13

In essence, it wasn't really ever "luck". As we walked our way to the HB pier, hand-in-hand, Jerrod said something to me that really struck a chord. He said, "God loves humble beginnings." I think that anyone could further add to that by saying that God loves humble people. God loves all people, but maybe humble people are following His plans a little more closely. And as he said that to me, it gave me comfort. Maybe we are closer to God than we think. Maybe I am closer to God than I feel like I am on most days.

Jerrod and I did not begin our story as most couples do. After 13 years of marriage, I feel like I finally have a good sense of what kind of person Jerrod is and I am so thankful that God was ALWAYS looking out for me. We didn't really know each other all that well, and I think, that when you're 19 years old, you don't even know what kind of person you are anyways. It is easy to say that "it's all part of a plan", to which I DO believe it is, but it has always been more complex than "just a plan".

From humble beginnings we came, we struggled, we learned, we made mistakes. But through it all, we still strive to be humble people in our marriage, with our friends, at our jobs, etc. It's hard enough to humble yourself and to just listen to God speak in the quietness. It can be a difficult task to be humble and just listen to your spouse sometimes. If there is one thing that always saves our marriage from someone walking out the front door, it is humbleness.

My heart continues to grow for the man that I love day after day. He is a great teacher to my sons as well as to me. I observe him as he makes difficult decisions and I know that he strives so hard to be the man that God wants him to be. With that in mind, he is almost always patient, listening for God to speak to him. He is always studying/researching to follow the footprints of other Godly men. He is a humble man and is continually humbled by God.

If there is one thing that I can teach my sons, it would be that in meekness, comes strength. I see my sons grab my dumbells and pump some iron, but I'm not talking about that kind of strength (plus, 5 lbs probably won't get 'em very far). I'm speaking about the submissiveness to God's plans for their lives and relationships.

So, as I've said, it was never luck, it was always God and I trust that he will continue to bless my husband and me with valuable learning experiences, joy in time spent together, and passion for each other.

And just to add to the humbleness, I added a lovely picture of us at a medium size, instead of the small....'cuz I'm a 'lil stinker! (It was getting way too sappy in here for me)

Pray for Noah Huffman

Please click on the picture of this precious little girl if you are interested in seeing God's hands at work.