Run, Run, Run

I am a little nervous. I wouldn't admit that to anyone face-to-face, but I'll tell the cyber-world. As some people know, I've been a wannabe runner for a few years. I've done a half marathon, a 10-mile, a few 5K's, and signed up and promised friends that I'd run in other races, only to disappoint them or myself by not going. I'm not the kind of person to exert any additional force to make myself a faster runner. I'm the kind of runner that just goes out to run and does it in the least painful way. I don't wear cute running gear and I don't have fancy running shoes. I don't even wear a heart rate monitor because it seems to me, totally pointless when I am trying to keep my heart rate as low as possible. I smile when I pass the Nike Women store because they have such cute outfits for fit runners. Maybe one day I can wear a "Runner's have the best buns" t-shirt, but until I can for-sure say "I do have nice buns", I will just have to save my money. So far, I have about $5 in change towards my purchase.

So, I'll tell you why I am nervous. Tomorrow is the big 4th of July 5k run. I did it last year and it was fun, but road races have always been so nerve-wrecking for me. I have disappointed myself each time that I've run. I deal with a major issue with self-esteem. I am never good enough for myself. Even if my goal is just to finish, by the end of the race, finishing isn't enough to feel content. If I train and I don't hit my goal time, I am in a horrible mood for the rest of the day.

So the plan for this year was not to set goals. Just RUN! I've got 3 great gals running with me. Gal #1: Steph, my Sat. morning therapy running partner. I think about the 10 mile race that we ran together until I pooped out during the last 2 miles and finished way benind her. I wanted so badly to stay up with her. Gal #2: Mari, my fun-and-silly-run-when-we-can-get-away-from-the-kids-or-when-the-husbands-don't-have-plans-to-ride running partner. I ran the 4th of July race with her last year. I guess I went out too fast and just pooped out, again, near the end and had to walk for a minute. Gal #3: Kari my newest and sweetest running friend. I've never run with her, although she assures me that she runs at my pace. I already told her that my feelings wouldn't be hurt if she just decided to take off and "smoke me". I know that none of these ladies would ever leave me behind to suffer alone...or would they? Nah. (Would they?...[that's my lack of self-esteem talking])

I have decided that I am just going to go out there tomorrow, nervous, but excited to spend some quality time with friends that care about me. I am hoping that I can help to make their run less stressful by having a good laugh or too, or even slowing their pace down a little bit. I might make them wear glittery stickers on their arms like me and bows in their hair. I'm done trying to be a serious racer...because no one would ever take my times seriously anyways. I am declaring myself an official fun-run racer. You know, the people that real racers hate because it cheapens their sport. But you know, I'll just say it, those compression socks aren't very flattering or attractive even on the best looking runner. It almost makes real runners look like fun-run runners. See you on Main Street Huntington Beach tomorrow with all of my bells and whistles!

Just in case you have no idea what compression socks are: