Why the dangling earrings?

I've been having quite a few flashbacks lately of my life as a young girl. I was pretty Tom-boyish. I rarely ever wore dresses and when I did, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I still do. Shorts and t-shirts were the only articles of clothing in my dresser and then in college, I switched to t-shirts and jeans.



So I happened to be shopping a few days ago at Pier 1 Imports and a cute pair of dangling, large, floral earrings caught my eye. I didn't even hesitate to try them on. I just bought them. I wanted them so badly. It was a purchase I would have never made 5 years ago due to their "obnoxiousness".

I put them on today and I asked myself, "Why the dangling earrings now? Why not 10 years ago?" I am sure that there is a deep psychological reason as to "why" but I'm not really a deep thinker. I just reminded myself of my uncomfortable past of being a girl in a world that I was not ready to be feminine in yet.

A friend of mine told me once that your "30's" are the most difficult time of your life. Not that the "20's" were a breeze or that the "40's" are gonna be a party, it seems like your "30's" are a time in most people's lives when we are expected to show some kind of maturity. We have spouses and relationships that we need to nurture more than ever. We have kids that are being raised into teen-agers. There are household budgets and retirement packages that we need to adjust and plan around. Our bodies have stopped maturing and now we need to maintain, or firm up. Some of us look for meaningful friendships that bring us support more than just drama.

My "30's" have been all of the above for me, but they have also brought me some unexpected joy. I have finally felt confident about my body and being a woman. I don't need to hide behind baggy clothing. I don't need to pull my hair back into a ponytail every day. I have embraced the beauty that comes with curves of hips and curls in my hair. I paint my toe nails because it is much prettier than them being "naked". I try the make-up, and usually fail....but I'm ok with that. My favorite thing to do now is to wear a bow or flowers in my hair. If you see me with them, it has probably been a good day. I guess I missed out when I was a little girl. I love feeling feminine!

One of the most wonderful feelings in the world is when I do put on a dress. It drives my husband wild because he married me as a Tom-boy. He is always the first one to give me a "Wow!" reaction and I always love that feeling. I am so glad that my time to be feminine came to me in my late 20's and early 30's. I appreciate it so much more, I think. So, YES! the dangling earrings are a must-have. They tell a story. They shine and shimmer as they whisper to all that I have embraced the wonderful feeling of femininity.

BTW. I will always hold the crown for the biggest, loudest burp in my household. Somethings I just cannot part with on my journey to becoming more feminine.

Pure Genius!

Did I cheat the system and not realize it? As I was fulfilling my New Year's resolution of "not smelling" by taking my daily shower, I kept recalling a conversation that I had earlier this morning with my good friend and supporter of my wittiness, Marcy. Somehow we got onto a discussion about the library which led to me confessing that I did all of my high school, college, and graduate school research in the juvenile section of the library. I received multiple diplomas and credentials based upon various picture and cartoon books.

I get out of the shower and I am still thinking about how I got away with it. So....in researching for this blog, I go to my most-trusted source, my 5 year-old's library. I pick out my book of choice and begin to contemplate.

Exibit A (referenced from a mature source):

shark World Encyclopedia | 1980 | © World Encyclopedia 2005, originally published by Oxford University Press 2005.

Torpedo-shaped, cartilaginous fish found in subpolar to tropical marine waters. They have well-developed jaws, bony teeth, usually five gill slits on each side of the head, and a characteristic, lobe-shaped tail with a longer top lobe. Sharks are carnivorous, and at least ten species are known to attack humans. There are c.250 living species.

Exhibit B (juvenile source):

Berger, Melvin. Chomp! A Book About Sharks. Scholastic Inc. 1999.

Sharks are fish. Most are large. They have huge appetites. And they're almost always hunting for something to eat...Sharks use their fins to swim. The big tail fin swings from side to side. The tail pushes against the water. It moves the shark forward. The other fins keep the shark steady in the water.

Conclusion: It is obvious that more facts in fewer words come from Exhibit B. And, Hey Now!, "cartilaginous".... that sounds a lot like a "Bush-ism". What kind of normal human being would use the word "cartilaginous" in their writing? Maybe those that want to set off the red alert for plagiarism. Exhibit A most traditionally comes from a book that has only 1 picture for the entire entry. I don't know about you, but I prefer a myriad of pictures just in case I need to sketch a picture or two for the front cover of my report. I always "Wow!-ed" them with my random artwork mixed in between the pages of my blood-sweat-and-tears research. (I once stuck a random picture of my first-born son into a research paper for a psychology class and got an A+).

I don't ever hesitate to swing a left at the fish tank just to find a book for my boys' projects. They say that the Huntington Beach Public Library has the largest juvenile section of any library west of the Mississippi. I always find happy, brightly-colored books with lots of pictures to greet me. The only downside is that you can only check out 2 per call number. DARN YOU DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM! (said with no offense to my mom and brother-in-law....Go library science!)

I am not sure yet, if I will pass this knowledge on to the next generation. Marcy and I got a laugh imagining what a graduate professor would say if they read a bibliography that had a title with an obvious give-away like "Chomp! A Book About Sharks".

Pure genius or just laziness.....smart people, don't answer that.

My Dad

I was chatting with my dad today and I had the same thought that I have every time I talk with him. "Man, I love this guy! He understands me!" He's always had a knack for words. He always is so very honest.

I see now where I get my "talent" of words. I was born with the same genetic defect that my dad has. We both have diarrhea of the mouth. Yes, self-diagnosed for the both of us, but it can only be explained in that way. You know when you have a thought? It usually passes through a mental filter that determines if it is appropriate to say aloud or if it should just go back into that black empty space in your mind. Well, diarrhea of the mouth can be described as not having that filter and things just come out as they are thought. It is brutal but it is honest.

I member some of my dad's worst episodes that caught me off-guard. I still don't know if I should be offended or if I should laugh. He laughed, so maybe that was a cue that I should have chimed in too, but I think I just stood there pondering.....

A few years ago I had begun to experiment with my natural hair style (you know, embrace the curl) but my dad looked at me and asked if the Santa Ana's had done my hair. No, the wind did not do my hair and it took some very expensive hair product to make it look like it did.

This summer I wore a pretty green ankle-length skirt and my hair in a side pony-tail. My husband loved the look, but my dad asked me if I was "Norah Jones or something?"

Today I went to visit him at work because my Costco does not open an hour early for business members, as I thought, and I didn't want to wait in the parking lot for an hour. He looked at my vest and (cute)boots and asked if I was going camping in the snow...

This man that I didn't know so well as a child is one of my most favorite people in the world. He cracks me up every time I think of him and there is always a good "Dad story" to tell at any given time. Like the time that I worked for him and he made me "Employee of the Month" after catching me napping in the back storage room. I also got a raise. Nepotism at its finest!

So there you go, Dad. You tell me that you don't read my blog anymore because "it's too real" and I dedicate a special entry just for you. I love you! You are so much fun to share with the world!

Confessions of a stay-at-home-mom

I believe in God. I also believe in living my life transparently. As many friends know, I am a bit shy. I've always been a quiet person and that has kept me from many opportunities to build relationships that go beyond "the surface". Part of me wants to keep all of my insecurities to myself, but as I try to change into a transparent person, I realize that God has my back no matter what other people think of me. As long as I trust in him and obey his commandments, I'll be perfect in His eyes.

Have you ever wondered what I am really like? Maybe for years you've thought that you knew me, but now aren't sure. Once I realized that my husband loved me for all of my wierdness, I set off to set the rest of my relationships straight and go with the honest truth. It's been a fun experience for me. I realize that I have fun laughing at myself. It's actually brought me closer to many of my friends and family members too.

Here are a few fun facts about me that maybe you didn't really need to know:

*I shave my toe hairs more often than I shave my legs.
*I have dance-offs with myself in the mirror when the kids and husband are away.
*I secretly listen to Britany Spears on my MP3. There are a few songs though that just make me want to puke....
*I pick my nose, but have very long-ago given up eating what I pick.
*When someone tells me that my kids are very good looking, I fully agree.
*I have a complex with wanting to be the best at everything.
*I fear that if I stop exercising, my husband will think that I am unattractive.
*I have an addiction to granulated, processed sugar.
*OK, I have an addiction to food.
*I am intrigued by the Real Housewives of Orange County as well as A Baby Story, but don't have cable now so I can't watch either.
*I am a frequent showerer....sometimes 2-3 a day. It may have something to do with my super sensitive sense of smell.
*In high school, I swam because I couldn't stand sweating...but swimming in my sweat was apparently just fine with me.
*I have mood swings.....all the time.
*I have a weakness for Big Macs.
*I know that it wasn't in God's plans for me to have a little girl, but I still wonder often what it would be like...Sometimes my thoughts bring me to tears.

I love my friends and family with all my heart. I promise to be as honest and open as I can. It's the least that I can do for those people that truly want me to be a part of their lives. It is my prayer that they will all be transparent with me also.

Life without the mini-van

I might be exaggerating when I say this, but my life is doomed without my mini-van. Not a day goes by in which I can say that the "Swagger wagon" just rested in my driveway. Multiple pick-ups and drop offs to school and extra-curricular duties, grocery shopping and other-stuff-shopping, sanity drives to nowhere in particular (but without kids in the back)....It is the normal mom job.

Basically, I drive a bus. I take advantage of the auto-sliding door to get the kids in and out without having to stop the car....I mean, engine. My vehicle protects the soccer EZ-up and multiple folding chairs, just in case. Within the many, too many, little nooks and crannies you will find a plethora of knick-knacks and half-eaten granola bars. I call it emergency food when I find fruit snacks and Ritz crackers beneath the seats. I once even found a 3/4-full yogurt tube in the back compartment. Thank goodness is was so filled with sugar instead of dairy that it wouldn't stink up my van.

So, my van has a little problem with a popping front door and I took it in to get fixed. It could be a week before we reunite again. I worried a little when the "guy" told me this, but we've lived with 1 car before...That is, until I smashed into a parked armored car and then we had no car....Good Pepperdine memories! My husband usually rides his bike to work (he's one of THOSE save-the-earth while getting exercise kinda guys) so I can use his car, except for one day this week when he needs it to go super far away....Los Angeles. It's gonna take a little planning to get everyone to where they need to be with just one car, but it's a good challenge. It will force the rest of the family (mostly me) to do a little bike riding and walking (save-the-earth kinda transportation).

Needless to say, I am so attached to my van. It's not like it's the envy of the neighborhood or that I like to take my friends and family on joy-rides just to show it off. That is just plain silliness! I am just so dependent upon it. It helps me take my groceries home. It keeps mum about all of my over-budget purchases at TJ-Maxx or when I secretly endulge my sweet tooth as I wait in the church parking lot to pick up my son from Youth Group. If I need to hide from my kids to take a nap, it will always offer the back bench, although it's only been a thought/pipe dream. It will never criticize my horrible singing when I do my best impression of Steve Perry. Hey, "Don't Stop Belivin'"!

This is a reminder to me that God is still blessing my life. God has given me many things to help me cope with my temporary "loss". Our second family car is a blessing. The friends that I am going to call to help me get my kids home from school will be a blessing. The extra calories that I burned running home from the dealership was a blessing as well as the many more that I will be burning as I walk to and from the boys' school multiple times this week. My husband's flexible schedule is a blessing and so is his job to which will pay for the repairs.

...And as I snooped around his car this afternoon as I waited for the little guy to get out of school, I found a nice emergency plastic baggie full of ketchup and crushed pepper packets just in case I ever get trapped in his car. How VERY thoughtful!

What I've learned from zucchini

It's an interesting title. It was meant to catch your eye so you don't overlook the AMAZING and emotional synopsis that I am about to tell.

So there's this 5th grade Thanksgiving play. It will be filled with talking and singing gourds and poultry. Some of those being zucchini. I, being of a pretty creative capacity, had signed up to make a few...ok, not a few, it is way too many, costumes to replace the ingenious butcher paper squash and turkeys. The old costumes were falling apart. Elmer's glue can only hold for so long. New costumes needed to be made to last for the rest of the life of the play. I had some material in my rafters. I have a sewing machine, I also have a mom and mother-in-law that have some knowledge of sewing.

My mom did interior design and professionally made quilts, coverlets, chair covers, curtains... She also made most of my wardrobe while I was in elementary school (that is, until I got too fat and had to start wearing my Dad's t-shirts to school)....I guess I was thinking that I'd have an innate ability to sew. I spent many hours in front of her sewing machine making scrunchies and odd-shaped pillows. I even had my own Cabbage Patch sewing machine when I was 10.

Here's what I first learned. As soon as I sat down to make new patterns, I quickly realized that I just didn't have the sewing knowledge to make any complicated design. The turkey costumes were put aside because they were just too difficult for me to create in my mind as well as in felt. Wings and tail feathers for 8+ turkeys...all under budget (pretty much $0) was not an easy task.

I moved onto something that looked a little less complicated. The zucchini. 2nd, I learned that a zucchini can look a lot like a pickle if you choose the wrong color and size. I didn't want people to think that I was a failure by sending pickles to the Thanksgiving play. 3rd, I learned that a zucchini is not only green. It has many other shades of white and yellow. I had to make sure to protect the integrity of the "Cucurbita pepo". I used fabric paint to recreate the natural beauty lines and spots along the deep green flesh. 4th, I re-learned that I can't sew like my mother. Maybe it was because I wasn't using her machine (I don't think that was the case) or maybe it was that I had broken the foot pad that keeps the fabric from moving around while the machine stitches (I don't think that was the case either). I think it was because I am an amateur seamstress...I was gonna write "amateur sewer", but we all know that "sewer" is also, like, the thing that our poopies go to after we flush...LOL!

Yes, that was lesson 5. Sewer and sewer (one that sews) are the same word.

I'll end with this. I greatly admire the craftiness of the person that made the construction paper costumes. I also have great respect for parents that volunteer at my boys' schools. They take on projects just like this one all of the time. A little stressful and a little frustrating at times, but I know that my kids, as well as future 5th graders, will long for the day when they can be the zucchini in the school play because the costumes are "Totally RAD" (as a boy in class yelled out when I took them in to show them off).

Parking

For some people, it comes as second nature. It is so simple. Line your vehicle up to fit inside of the lines. For me, it doesn't come so easily. I admit, I have a problem. I should NOT have passed that portion of my driver's test, but I did....somehow. (Oh yeah, I didn't have to parallel park...or even park in a parking spot for that matter...How did I get my driver's license anyway?)

For the 17ish years that I have been legally allowed to push a pedal to accelerate a 4-wheel motor vehicle (minus the 30 days that I was on probation and had to WALK home from high school...poor me!) I have been practicing my parking skills and have gotten much better. I still have days though when I need to repark because I hog 2 spots or when I am at Ikea and drive into a space crooked. Really, I don't understand how my spatial abilities could be so bad. I mean, I can understand, but refuse to admit that I am a poor driver.

Today I perfectly parallel-parked in front of the kids' school. I was an inch away from the curb and I didn't hit the car in front or behind me. PRAISE THE LORD! I have always been afraid of parallel parking. This sense of insecurity comes from many failed attempts of trying to parallel park on a hill at Pepperdine in an 80's Mercury Sable. I never hit anyone, but I remember sweating profusely as I attempted to fit into a piece of curb the size of a brontosaurus. Usually after minutes of backing into and trying to swing around, I'd give up and go down to the bottom of the hill and park in the parking lot (to which I'd still have issues with fitting inside the lines). I'd hike all 4 million steps up to campus. Either way, I was sweating the same amount.

So what do I have to say for myself? It must have something to do with self-confidence. I do a much better parking job when I don't have an audience. I go early to school so I can pick out my special spot to practice in. I can't promise that I'll get any better, but my van is highly visible so you can take extra precautions to move your car out of my way when you see it coming.