Three

When some think of the number three, they think of the number before four or after two, the Holy Trinity, a triangle, a snowman (I just made that up).... I want to share with you what I have learned about the number three in the last 4+ years.

First, it is an odd number. Two is a pair and two is balanced. Two hands, two eyes, two parents in a marriage. Then comes three, it is unbalanced...to say the least. It requires a mini-van and a bigger home. It becomes a struggle for two parents to make 3 events during a single time period. Driving in a small car filled to capacity is never a comfortable thing. Now I am sure that some families thrive on their large numbers in a small living space, but as you may recall, even the Duggars upgraded to a larger home. 19 kids!

Three means that there may be times when you can't remember the names of your own children. Some parents may forget with two, but when there are three involved, you also suffer from dizziness while trying to recall the name of the child that you are going to yell for because he left the fridge open and the Top Ramen boiling on the stove, unwatched.

Three means pure chaos when going to the store for a roasted chicken and a can of corn because the migraine that left you laying in a fetal position until 30 minutes to the arrival of your husband from work wasn't going to cook dinner for you. They all want to "drive" the cart and "help". Those self-scan registers are actually not time saving when you bring three kids either. Add a minute for each item because they are all fighting to scan the next item.(Mental note: buy 3 items or don't use the self-serve)

Three means LOUD. Sure, they're wrestling and having a good laugh on the floor of the doctor's office, but in five minutes, someone will be wailing and complaining that "so-and-so broke his arm". Even the boys' hand-held games become loud when a coveted game is not shared. There are very few of those in our house because, in our home, the games must have an "E" rating (and we all know that those are the games in the $15 bin.....'cuz nobody wants them).

Three can be a beautiful number too. Three very different personalities with three very different love languages. I am a better mother because I am skilled and have many more experiences to draw wisdom from. My stress level is down and I don't really care if they haven't bathed or changed their clothes (I've got way more important things to worry about now, like who is blocking me on their FB account). I am more appreciative of the moments that I have with each boy individually. Three means that there will almost always be someone around to keep you company...or to annoy you. Someone's gonna always make you laugh and someone's always going to make you cry.

A family of four was great, but is was so balanced. I believe that with our family of 5 we strive for balance and we appreciate our time together more. We make a greater effort to be supportive of one another. Money, time, food, privacy, a hand to hold....we have learned to not take these things for granted.

Three ginormous hearts that are filled with love for the people that brought them into this world. That is what makes three so perfect.

I Need You Now!

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I heard this song a few weeks ago that I really started to like just recently. It’s one of those drown-your-sorrows-in-your-glass-of-beer kinda contemporary-country-love-songs. Lady A (as I’ve read their fans call them...according to my very reliable source, Wikipedia) has written a song about a day in MY life. How could they know about my most personal-daily relationship between my husband and me? They must be like God or Santa (my middle son explained to me that they could possibly be the same person because they both know EVERYTHING).

Let me paraphrase some of the more meaningful lines from the song and describe how I have come to believe that it is about me:

So this lady (me) is looking at some pictures and can’t fight the urge not to call this guy (my husband) that she is missing. She is wondering if he’s thinking of her because she thinks of him all the time. She told him that she wouldn't call but she's lost all control. It happens to be a quarter after 1:00.

There are two ways in which I relate this part of the song to myself. First, the romantic me says, “Yeah, that’s how I feel at a quarter after 1:00 PM in the afternoon when I miss my husband so much that I have to call him just to say ‘hi’ even if I know that I’ll be interrupting his work…..but I love him so much that I NEED to hear his voice on the phone.” The second situation in which I can place myself into the song looks a little like this: I am sitting in my room on the bed with the phone in my hand and tears in my eyes and I am crying to my husband, “It’s a quarter after 1:00 and I NEED you to come home and help me tame these kids……I can’t handle it!!!!!” Oh, and the song gets better.

Verse two is where the man (still me) is taking a shot of whiskey staring at the door waiting for this girl (my husband) to sweep into the room. It’s still a quarter after 1:00.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that a shot of whiskey at 1:00 AM is great, but sometimes, it may be better to have one at a quarter after 1:00 PM. I have considered a similar drink for a similar time. The other take on this verse would leave me as the “puppy” waiting at the door for my husband to arrive home….and isn’t that the truth?!!! I love the guy so much, but I have to be honest, I’m usually chipper due to the fact that he’ll be there to take care of the kids.

So when you watch this video, remember me rolling on my bed in my flannel PJ’s, whimpering and crying about needing my man because I am an incompetent mother. Or maybe you could visualize me taking a shot of whiskey as I sit at my kitchen table with dinner burning on the stove in the background. I hope that I didn’t ruin the song for you.

Abby and Heloise

I LOVE Abby. I LOVE Heloise. We all know who "Dear Abby" is. Heloise is also syndicated like Abby. She is like her homemaker equivalent. People write to her asking for advice on how to clean ring-around-the-tub. Next to the comics, I get a little slice of joy reading from these two women and I take their advice to heart. I do wonder, though, what they would say behind my back if ever they were to shadow me around for a day. So, here is my life, according to what Abby and Heloise might think:

7:00 AM "Oh Dear. Her alarm is set to Air Supply. She should wake up to something a little more patriotic such as: "America, the Beautiful" or something sprite and chipper from Mozart."

7:30 AM "What is this 10-second-rule that she is mumbling about? A piece of toast should always be thrown away if it has fallen onto the ground...especially if is is jelly-side down. Children should always be fed a well-rounded breakfast such as eggs and bacon, not fruit cocktail from a can. Tsk, tsk."

8:00 AM "I assume that she will brush her hair before she leaves the house....uh...uh...Oh no, she didn't. How unattractive it is to be seen unkempt at her son's school like that?!"

8:15 AM "Well then, I am glad to see that she is finally going to get ready for the day. It would help if she didn't dress straight from the clothes basket. I am so happy to see though, that she is wearing the appropriate nude color nylon stockings with those slip-on shoes. A lady of her age should always wear socks with her shoes."

8:30 AM "Chapstik? Chapstik! A lady always wears lipstick and blush when leaving the house. We are surprised that this woman has a husband."

9:00 AM-12:30 PM "It is always more polite to smile and look as though you really enjoy your job. It may help pass the time more quickly."

12:30 PM "I do believe that she is singing out loud while driving home. I would expect that from a teenager, but not from a grown woman."

1:00 PM "Is she doing the dishes without gloves? Dry skin and wrinkles are so unattractive, but at least she is attempting to clean her kitchen....although, it is the afternoon. If done properly, a kitchen should be cleaned after every meal."

2:35 PM "OH NO! I don't believe that she even STOPPED that car before her son jumped in....and in a Red zone....this woman has some issues to be dealt with."

3:00-4:00 PM "A good attempt has been made to feed her children a healthy snack and to help them finish their homework. They are sitting at the table quietly working....but where is she now?...Is that her napping on the bed?"

4:00 PM "My, what a lovely apron....very important when opening the bag of Mandarin Chicken from Trader Joe's. (That was scarcasm)"

5:00 PM "Dinnertime is very important for families to reconnect. I do believe that this family has the right idea....but the flatulence and burping at the table is really a bit inappropriate."

5:30-7:30 PM "Downtime. Every family member needs a little time to unwind in their own way. As I see it, a little Mythbusters or Good Eats is fine for the entire family....but there she is again....napping."

7:30-8:00 PM "The bedtime routine is cut-and-dry here in her household. The boys know exactly what to do without complaining. It appears that it is the husband's job to brush teeth and say prayers. Delegating jobs is important, but it would be better for her to have a hand in bedtime tasks....instead of napping or watching 'The Real Housewives of Orange County' (that is pure smut!).

8:00-11:00 PM "Stealing a bubble of intimacy (phrase taken from Good Housekeeping...a magazine that she reads instead of folding laundry) with her husband is always a good thing. Catching up on 3 episodes of Criminal Minds may not be the most romantic way to set the mood though....Oh good...they're changing the channel....to...CSI. (Frown)"

11:30 PM "If a woman wants to wake up in the morning refreshed and without black bags under her eyes, she's going to need to go to bed much earlier than this. 9:00 Would be appropriate."

"In our humble opinion, we get many letters from readers that are in much worse condition. Elaine may not be the perfect homemaker or have perfect etiquette like us ladies, but she gets some credit for raising 3 boys. Some say that raising 3 boys is like a free ticket to heaven, but it's not. It only allows you to have an extra glass of wine with dinner, as long as it doesn't come from a box and that you pour it into a proper glass...not a plastic neon cup from IKEA."

100% + 100% = 100%

I know that you're thinking, Elaine is a math teacher and she put this equation up on her blog. It doesn't appear to be correct, but I'm going to read the blog because maybe it will make sense, in a wierd way. She has that knack for making sense of wierd things.

There isn't much in America that makes sense. Our language system and our metric system are all out of whack. See here, I just wrote 3 sentences with the words "knack" and "whack" and you are still following....because I made it make sense!

I'll set up the whole situation: I was having dinner with 2 friends from high school recently and one of the ladies posed a question to us other two that was something along the lines of "How do you make your marriage work?" or "How do you live with someone that long?" I can't remember the exact question, but this equation came to mind immediately. It's something that Jerrod and I have been working on for a couple of years ever since the failure rate of (50% + 50% = 100%) began to skyrocket.

The explanation: We began with divvying up responsibilities in the household. One takes out the trash and cleans the dishes, the other does the laundry and puts the kids to bed.... What happened was that when one of us was unable to complete his/her task, there would be dissappointment and then (mostly in my case) it would come down to grudge-holding, especially if I had to pick up the slack. For some couples, I am sure that this equation works out perfectly. For us....it just led to disasterous effects. Add some kids into the mix and the equation gets complicated. I don't even have an equation to explain, but I think I would most likely symbolize our boys as exponents or as repeating decimals or fractions (I hate those things in math! They make solving equations so difficult).

So, now we try our best to do what we can and count picking-up-slack as part of our chores. We will always have unknown variables. Soccer practice may go long. Jerrod may have a later night at the office. I may NEED to get away from these kids for the evening (and usually Jerrod can pick up on my signals quicker than I can and has to kick me out and tell me not to come home until the boys are asleep....it's his way of showing me he cares). The 100% equation is not fool-proof, but it has helped us to maintain a more peaceful and less-frustrated atmosphere. Our communication skills are getting better because we are learning to ask each other for help instead of expecting it. It really just is the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated. I really don't want to be verbally slapped in the face because my day was long and I didn't have time to cook vegetables for dinner. Why would I do that to Jerrod? PMS, maybe...but there is no excuse for that type of behavior. It's much easier to just go to the pantry and open up a can of green beans. It also appears to be "helping" instead of "OMG, I can't believe that she forgot the vegetables again!"

Budget Craziness

It won't be long until I say "farewell" to my tiny income, dressing up/showering, and driving to work. I soon will embrace full-time motherhood. I've been a mother all along, but this will be different. It will consume my life and there will be no place to hide. At work I always had my desk and a nice 15 minute break. My days will be filled with laundry, dusting, and deep cleaning (all the fun stuff that was neglected when I worked a very full 13 hour work week). I will brush up on my cooking skills and prepare a nutritional dinner that consists mostly of non-bagged, non-frozen chunks of meat in uncanned sauce. I know that I'll be an awful "housewife" because I don't like to do any of that stuff. NO MOTIVATION!...but I'm a better fit for "soccer mom"/"mom-in-a-mini-van". I have to say that I look a lot better in my floral apron than hubby anyday too.

I can take care of my kids, but with the budget talks making their way to the dinner table far more frequently, I think I may lose my most dependent babysitter. Premium tv channels are on their way out. I stopped going to get my car hand washed last year and I am slowly making my way to Smart & Final more than Ralphs (sadly,they DON'T have the light-up freezer section. I will miss that). I actually yell at my kids now when I can't find the scissors to clip my coupons. I've even borrowed a stock pot from a friend to make a triple batch of split pea soup so I could freeze some for future meals (very light on the wallet). It is a lot of work to save money. It's been a few months since the last financial pie graph chat, but I am sure that it will break my heart once again.....it's for the family!

So with all of that said, here are a few crazy things that I thought a budget-friendly person might say to make "it" hurt less:

*It really was between the Mercedes and the Honda Fit, but I went with the Honda 'cuz it really is more economical.
*Nah, I'd rather wash my own car. I enjoy spending hours scraping the bird-do and dead bugs off of the grill. I also get to keep all the change that I find under the mats. BONUS!
*I'm practicing my organization and alphabetizing skills with my new accordian folder. Clipping coupons has really improved my cutting skills too.
*Yeah, really, the generic brand tastes just as good as the real thing!
*The kids really do LOVE Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese....for lunch everyday.
*I know that there are holes in my underwear/socks, but they are just sooo comfortable.
*I'm on a diet. I'll just eat the (free) chips and salsa/bread and butter with a glass of water and a lemon slice.
*Um, we save the ketchup packets and hot sauce for the kids school lunches. Less mess.
*What a deal! Those $.50 greeting cards. No one really cares about the card anyways.
*I HATE Walmart...but they are the only store that sells Low-Sugar Frosted Flakes...
*When the restaurant gives you 2 corn tortillas for each taco, it's like a 2-for-1, but they don't even know that they're doing it. (Like stealing candy from a baby!!...and ignorance IS bliss!)
*I just couldn't put the book down. I finished it overnight because it was so good....and I needed to return it to Barnes and Noble so someone else could enjoy it.
*We really enjoy sharing cooties and because we are in LOVE, we can sip from the same cup at any restaurant.

Embrace the budget!

Lucky 13

In essence, it wasn't really ever "luck". As we walked our way to the HB pier, hand-in-hand, Jerrod said something to me that really struck a chord. He said, "God loves humble beginnings." I think that anyone could further add to that by saying that God loves humble people. God loves all people, but maybe humble people are following His plans a little more closely. And as he said that to me, it gave me comfort. Maybe we are closer to God than we think. Maybe I am closer to God than I feel like I am on most days.

Jerrod and I did not begin our story as most couples do. After 13 years of marriage, I feel like I finally have a good sense of what kind of person Jerrod is and I am so thankful that God was ALWAYS looking out for me. We didn't really know each other all that well, and I think, that when you're 19 years old, you don't even know what kind of person you are anyways. It is easy to say that "it's all part of a plan", to which I DO believe it is, but it has always been more complex than "just a plan".

From humble beginnings we came, we struggled, we learned, we made mistakes. But through it all, we still strive to be humble people in our marriage, with our friends, at our jobs, etc. It's hard enough to humble yourself and to just listen to God speak in the quietness. It can be a difficult task to be humble and just listen to your spouse sometimes. If there is one thing that always saves our marriage from someone walking out the front door, it is humbleness.

My heart continues to grow for the man that I love day after day. He is a great teacher to my sons as well as to me. I observe him as he makes difficult decisions and I know that he strives so hard to be the man that God wants him to be. With that in mind, he is almost always patient, listening for God to speak to him. He is always studying/researching to follow the footprints of other Godly men. He is a humble man and is continually humbled by God.

If there is one thing that I can teach my sons, it would be that in meekness, comes strength. I see my sons grab my dumbells and pump some iron, but I'm not talking about that kind of strength (plus, 5 lbs probably won't get 'em very far). I'm speaking about the submissiveness to God's plans for their lives and relationships.

So, as I've said, it was never luck, it was always God and I trust that he will continue to bless my husband and me with valuable learning experiences, joy in time spent together, and passion for each other.

And just to add to the humbleness, I added a lovely picture of us at a medium size, instead of the small....'cuz I'm a 'lil stinker! (It was getting way too sappy in here for me)

Pray for Noah Huffman

Please click on the picture of this precious little girl if you are interested in seeing God's hands at work.